Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Confession.

I don't know how long, but I have been getting increasingly ornery as of late. I have been feeling the prick of the Holy Spirit, yet not able to put my finger on the problem. I feel pressure at my job, only to come home to more pressure. I feel like I am caving in. Like I have an immense weight upon me and I can no longer hold it up. I prayed today for God to reveal to me what it is I need to fix. I was snapping at my kids, for no good reason (I will spare all the details). In a nutshell, I looked into the mirror and did not like what I was seeing. So, did God answer me, you ask?

He gave me an extra measure of strength to do something a man doesn't usually do. I took my wife into another room and, privately, spilled my guts to her. She gave me all the right responses to the children's constant demands, or my work demands etc... Things that I really already knew, but in my flesh was struggling mightily. Crow does not taste good.

But, God, in His wisdom and timing, offered through her one last little tidbit that I have heard preached many times. She asked me how my bible reading was coming. I had to hang my head and answer that it, simply, wasn't. She asked if I was being squeezed. I had to answer in the affirmative-then God spoke.

Our preacher has preached many times on this, always asking the question, "When God squeezes you, who comes out?" Or, "when someone bumps into you what spills over?" The answer should be, Christ. Are we so filled with and consumed by Him, that He spills out when we are squeezed? When God squeezes, do we focus more intently upon Him? Or do we wallow in our self pity?

In order to be filled, I must be in His word daily. Daily reading should serve as a constant reminder of Him and who He is and what He means in my life. I ended the conversation feeling much better.

I encourage you, the reader, to hold me accountable. I know that when I awoke early, "...seek the Lord early...", My days went smoother and I was under His authority and control. You see, I can't do it by myself. But, through Christ, I can do all things.

Thanks for reading, and keep us in your prayers.

2 comments:

The Watchman said...

Amen! Accountability has been the single most effective tool for me in the issue of short temperedness, anger, or what ever. My wife and kids always know when the LORD is pricking my heart for falling short of his glory. It is hard to humble myself, but it restores unto me the joy of salvation! You know, that feeling of forgiveness, that load being removed from off my shoulders.

Marci said...

We all have barometers of our time with Him. I once heard the illustration that we can be like a cordless screwdriver. If we don't plug back into the source on a regular basis and re-charge, then we run out of power. Then we react in our own strength. May the Lord draw you to His Word and give you a hunger for it.