Small Town With BIG Dreams

Just a few miles to the north of us we are taking care of the homestead of a friend of ours that has gone out of town fo a week.  To get to their place, we have to drive through a little blurb of a town, it's one of those towns that if you blink you'll miss it.  I will spare the name of this town to protect the innocent, but my wife and I have discovered something about this little town that may be a shock to some, something that would not be expected.

You have to understand that this place has as many buildings as I have fingers on one hand.  I would estimate that 99% of them are residential, farms and one HUGE junk yard-right next to the road.  It is not a ghost town, but it is awfully close.  It once was home to a post office, many years ago-like say the 1400's or something.  But other than a few homes, there is nothing there.

But here is the part that we discovered; the highway (if you can call it that, it is paved after all), has been adopted. 

That's not so strange or unusual, you say?  True, it is not.  Adopt a highway programs have become quite popular in recent years and are a very good thing.  These programs and the volunteers go to great lengths to help keep the road ways free of trash and debris, for that they are to be commended.  No, that is not the interesting discovery.  What is interesting is the organization that adopted this particular stretch of highway.  It was adopted by the teeny, tiny, miniscule, little town's CHAMBER OF COMMERCE.  If you do not find this in the least bit humorous, I refer you to the brief description of the teeny, tiny, little town above.  They have a Chamber of Commerce!

We chuckled at the sign that stated, "This road has been adopted by the (blank) Chamber of Commerce" and asked just what "commerce" actually takes place in this teeny, tiny, little town with NO businesses?  Obviously, the few people (say no more than 20) that live there are VERY optomistic.  God bless them, I hope they reach their goal.  Surely they are trying to attract businesses to the area, or something.  However, there is nothing around for many miles.  I am not even sure that the Chamber has a chamber, if you know what I mean.

Farming And The Art Of Whinning

It would seem that a farmer is never satisfied.  No, let me rephrase that, a farmer is never satisfied.  All you have to do is spend some time sitting at the "liars table" at the local greasy spoon to learn this phenomonon.  Don't talk, just listen to what they have to say.

Case in point: just a month ago you heard us crying that there was too much rain.  In fact there was too much rain, we had close to 40 inches in the span of a month and a half.  It was enough to make my feet grow webs and make me walk like a duck.  I think I may have heard our youngest daughter quack once.  The lakes and streams and rivers are all still overflowing.  That was a month ago.

Since then we have had zero rain.  There is an old saying in the Ozarks that we are never more than two weeks from a drought.  Brother, ain't that the truth!  Things around here have gotten so dry that the rocks are thirsty.  The morning dew has become the morning don't.  The sun has baked everything but the pie in the oven.

Now I'm not one to whine-OK, yes I am.  But you have to understand that without rain the grass doesn't grow.  Without grass the cows will starve-have you ever noticed that the weeds seem to find a way to grow in dry weather?  They are always there and green t'boot.  I'm thinking the grass could learn a thing or two from their neighbors and show a little more gumption.

I don't even want to get into the garden, I mean we could starve.  Life won't be much fun if we have to go hungry, now would it?  OK, maybe things aren't quite that bad, but you get my point.  The main thing is that we need rain.  We went from way too much to way too little in too short of a time.  So, no, we homesteading types are never satisfied.  There is always too much of this and too little of that, or the market is low, or the economy stinks etc...

The thing to do is to quit whinning and get on with life, right?  But whinning brings a temporary relief for many, yes, me too.  God says to trust in Him, HE makes it rain.  So I need to look to Him for daily sustenance, which goes beyond food and grass and into the spiritual.  With the Spiritual self in line, whinning becaomes a non-issue.  "If a man lacks anything, let him ask in wisdom..."  You knew there had to be a spiritual lesson in this, right?  So, I'm going to shower the sweat from my body and gaze into the face of God and know that He is, then I will TRY not to whine tomorrow, or in ten minutes for that matter.  Ugh.

Homestead Humor

Winter Lets Up In Montana

I got this as an email from a good friend.  She used to live in Montana.  The caption reads: summer is almost here, we are starting to see the deer moving around.

Too funny!

Frozen Homestead

We are in the midst of a deep freeze.  A nasty bit of "global warming".  It was 0 degrees this morning when I ventured out to feed the cows before work.  I don't have enough long-johns for this.  And we have a few more days of it, to boot.  My milk cow's teats are chapped, the water hose is frozen, and I hope to have enough firewood, because we are chugging through it.  I'm not whining, I am trying to make a point.

The everyday chores get a bit harder when it is cold.  Put some snow on the ground, and that adds to the problem.  The stock tanks are freezing and staying frozen.  With no electricity in the are of the tanks, I am without heaters.  Does anyone know if they make battery powered ones?  Let me know.

These situations call for some "thinking outside the box".  I have to hand it to my oldest daughter for coming up with the idea of hauling buckets of water on a sled.  I am amazed that I didn't come up with that myself, but it works.  I always tend to look for the complex solutions to problems.  I guess it takes a 9 year old mind to come up with obvious solutions.  I guess you could say that the snow has aided in that instance, I hadn't thought of that either.

I think the point is, that there are any number of circumstances, problems or situations that can put us into "survival" mode.  The upside is that all of these things make us stronger for the real tests that are coming.

No matter the weather, we still have chores to do.  And no matter the circumstance, we need to work it out, not stand still, looking for a handout.

So, we will survive, and this will pass.  The bright side is that God is using these trials to make me into His image.  Thank you, Father.

By the way, tell Al Gore he's full of crap.

Move Over Horse Power

Now this is the way to do some logging! Somewhere in Alaska.

Life On The Farm

The Pied Piper

It's Dry In Texas

I figured out why I couldn't copy and paste into my blog, it had to do with an issue in Internet Explorer 8. I removed IE 8 and am back to IE 7 and all works as normal again. So here's one for your funny bone.


It's so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.

Now that's dry!!!

Remember When

I was watching my girls doing their afternoon chores and I was reminded of the beauty of youth. Sometimes, I like to act like a kid, but those times are getting further between.

Do you remember this? I'll race ya to the tree! Then the leader begins the race with a common phrase that has transcended generations, Onyurmarkgessetgo! usually uttered so fast that, inevitably, someone gets left in the dust, in tears, and it is never the leader.

Then, to be fair, they pick a third party to utter the start. This person always has to be a wiseguy, On your mark, (pause) get SET, (bigger pause) STOP! (Now laughing hysterically.) This person will do this several times to see who will jump the line. It is comical to watch from the outside, but never when you are actually involved.

Sometimes they have to throw in, One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to STOP! HA HA HA!

It is fun to watch children play. You find out that things are not all that different from when we were kids. Just watch them sometime, and, if you can, join them. You might pay for it a few days but it will be worth it.

More Homestead Projects

Tomorrow I get to take the second half of my holiday, so I will come home from work early. The plan is to take the trailer into town and get the lumber for the 11 year-in-the-making book selves for the living room wall. I can feel my wife's excitement. She's been waiting for this moment a long time. You know, it makes me feel good to honor her even when it is 11 years over due.

For myself, I will bring home the 6 year-in-the-making metal for the roof of the wood shed. I built the frame of the shed 6 years ago and it has been sitting, as a shell, since. It will be nice to get rid of the torn, ragged plastic I have been using to cover the wood. WOOHOO!

OK men, don't leave me hanging. Tell me I'm not the only one who puts things off.....for years.

Chuckwagons?

I was reading an article about modern day cattle ranches and their drift back to the days of yesteryear. OK, I skimmed it. Alright, alright, I just read the captions under the pictures.

None the less, the gist of the article was how modern day ranches are going back to the horse drawn chuckwagon as a means of cutting expenses. I can't say that I relate to using a chuckwagon to feed my cowboys. I don't have any cowboys to worry about and, frankly, every part of my homestead is within easy walking distance.

I suppose I could make believe that I, and my cowboys (my wife and daughters) were out on the open range. We could pitch a tent in the pasture, build a fire, sing songs and eat beans, (followed by plenty of Beano). I could play the harmonica to the melody of the singing coyotes in the distance.

Somehow, though, the romance of it all would be lost the first time one of the cowboys(girls) had to use the restroom, a walk to the house and back before I finished the first verse of "Home On The Range".

Truthfully, this whole thing got mee thinking about money saving ideas for the homestead. Like using oak leaves for toilet paper. I doubt that would fly in a household of women. Us rugged men types would have no trouble (ahem...).

Speaking of flies, here is another tip. Just let them be. The house flies, I mean. What kind of farm would it be if we didn't have a bunch of flies zooming around. No money spent there.

And who needs a disk plow? Just get yourself a herd of armadillos. They can turn dirt like nobody's business.

You don't need pesticides. Chickens are bug killin' machines. If you have a problem with rodents, don't call the Orkin man, just do like we do, employ an army of cats. They are quite remarkable hunters. They are so efficient, in fact, it is almost as if they never leave their favorite napping place on the front porch.

You can own your own fertilizer company, all natural, just buy some rabbit. They make good fertilizer and meat too.

I hope this helps. Let me know what you might add to this, I'd love to hear it. Thanks for stopping by.

Be Careful Where You Keep Your Cow

A farmer kept a prize cow in a pasture through which a railroad track ran. Each day, at the same time, a freight train barreled by. One day after the train had gone, the farmer discovered his cow was missing. He promptly sued the railroad.

The railroad hired a young lawyer, and just before the case came to trial, the attorney bargained with the farmer, getting him to settle for half of what he had demanded. Proud of his achievement, the lawyer boasted as he handed over the check to the farmer, "You really had me worried. I didn't have any witnesses. The engineer was asleep and so was the brakeman. You could have won the whole amount."

"Well, young fella," the farmer said as he pocketed the check, "you had me worried too. You see that dumb cow came home this morning."

The Economy Is Not "Improving", IMHO

Holiday? What Holiday?

After church, yesterday, we went to the only place in Mountain Home Arkansas that is open on Sunday to get rabbit feed. Our daughter that is in charge of feeding the rabbits has a habit of waiting until the feed is gone, plus a day, to announce that she is out of feed. So, the emergency trek to Orscheln's began.

I thought that I could get a bag of range cubes for the cow, while we were there. After very careful calculations, I decided that I could get by through the day (Sunday) and pick some up at our local feed store as it is much cheaper. I spent long, hard minutes on these calculations. In fact, smoke came out of my ears from the grinding gears in my head. Alas, I was very confident that I had enough.

While at Orscheln's, my wife casually walked over and asked, do you have enough feed for the cow?

Yes, honey, thank you. After toiling for minutes and doing some serious 'cipherin', I will have just enough. Thank you for asking, I responded.

So we left the store. I was supremely confident in my "cipherin'" abilities. And, that evening, in the barn to milk the cow, I found I did have just enough. No problem, I was feeling really good about myself.

After work this afternoon, I drove the few miles to the feed store. I stopped to make the left hand turn into the lot, to wait for some on-coming traffic, and pulled in. I even waved at my brother-in-law who passed by from behind, I was in a good mood.

I made the turn and glanced in the direction of the door to the building. Closed, along with all the shipping bay doors.

Drat! Double DRAT! It's a holiday! AAAUGH! I pulled out and headed home, much more soured than when I arrived.

I arrived at our mailboxes along the county road and pulled to a stop to get the mail.

DRAT! DOUBLE DRAT! It's a Holiday! AAAAUGHH!

When you work in a grocery store, like I do, you lose all concept of holidays as you tend to spend most of them at work. I couldn't seem to get it in my head that there was a holiday today. It is just another day to me. Now I have to try to milk the cow with chicken food.

I wonder how much molasses it will take to get her to eat it?

Puppy Love

"Mom, hey mom! MOM! MOTHER!!!! I'm freezin' here and you're settin' on a DOG!

Horsein' Around

I didn't draw this, in fact, I don't know who did. This was sent to me via email from a lovely young lady in our church. I thought y'all would get a kick out of it. I did.

Some More Caption Fun

I drew this on the same day as the other. To be honest, I am experimenting or toying with the idea of doing a comic strip. I am going to leave this up for a few days to let y'all give me some captions. Remember to keep them clean and funny. Thanks.

Scroll down for current posts. Have fun!

Watching Grass Grow?

I was just musing over the old addage- "...like watching grass grow." And I got to thinking how ironic it really is. I have used that old saying a time or two in my life. I'd rather watch grass grow than watch a round of tennis! I'd say.

The phrase, or coloquialism, is almost always associated with boredom. I am so bored, right now, that watching grass grow would add excitement to my day.

It is funny, really, how some things just seem to come full circle. As I've said, I would use that term laced with heavy sarcasm. In fact, I would pour on the sarcasm like hot fudge topping on vanilla ice cream, thick. Now that my family and I have been homesteading, (of a sort), for ten years, I find each year come with new lessons. God has a way with that, doesn't He?

As I was sitting here, unwinding from my fulltime job, I was thinking how I would rather watch grass grow than to go to work again tomorrow. No, I'm serious. I get a kick out of watching the new spring growth explode into a deep green.

When I am at work, and the sun shinning outside, I long to be here to watch the grass grow. There is something in seeing a contented cow, lying on the grass in the warm sun, chewing her cud. There is a sense of peace, that all is right in the world. Watching a cow eat her ration of hay just isn't the same. She doesn't seem as peaceful. Not as natural. I know, feeding hay is very natural, indeed. I don't know if I can explain it.

With all the trouble in the world, to see a cow relaxing in the sun, I feel more relaxed. I can take a breath. God created a wonderful planet and ecosystem not just for us to tend, but to enjoy. All too often we look at the homestead as work, which it is-lot's of it, but we can see the fruit also.

I look at the grass getting taller and greener and I get excited. Spring is almost here, and the cattle can eat some wholesome green stuff again. We can get some fresh milk again-WOOHOO!

I like to watch the grass grow, and I vow to never lace it with sarcasm again. (Right.)

Are You "Romantical"?

I am having a grand time reading Mark Twain's "The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn" to the girls. They are enjoying the book very much, as well. It is very difficult to pinpoint an exact thing that stands out as the favorite of the book, but, tonight I read the chapters that tell of how Huck and his buddy Tom Sawyer were going to "steal" Jim out of captivity from Tom's aunt and uncle. I won't go into all the detail here and trust that you have some knowledge of the book. If you don't, it is well worth the read.

Instead, I was impressed with the way the "escape" had to be performed. Huck kept it simple, wanting to use the things at hand like, shovels and a saw and picks etc.. Tom would have none of that, saying that it wasn't the way it was done in all the books he'd read. True hero's toil for thirty seven years to break free. They dig out with spoons and such. They climb down with a rope ladder. Kin folk smuggle in things baked in a pie to aid the escape. In other words, Huck's simple ways were not "romantical" enough. Tom insisted that, although it wouldn't take thirty seven years, that they could "let on" that it took thirty seven years. Huck thought that was ridiculous, Jim would be out-thirty seven years or not, wouldn't he? In the end, Tom won out, and they "let on" that it was going to take thirty seven years to dig old Jim out. This took me back a bit and got me to thinking. There were many times, and still are, to some degree, that I was struck with the "romantical" things.

Like the times, as a young adult in Wisconsin, that I would be out walking my dog (a blue-eyed Siberian Husky) in a driving snow storm. The wind chill would be -30 and you couldn't see through the snow, it was coming so hard. My mind would transport to a time or place and I would be fighting the elements to rescue a sick child. Panting and suffering for the cause of a loved one. Or, lost on the great tundra of Siberia running from the KGB, hot on my trail. Using my wits and digging deep to find the strength to survive. Just man, his dog and the elements.

Or when I'm out busting my tail to load the hay in the barn before a big rain. My mind gets taken away to a place on the prairie, as a homesteader. Working hard by the blood, sweat and tears to make a way for us in this lonely, desolate place. Struggle is the norm, day to day. I take my western hat off, wipe the sweat from my brow and feel like a tough cowboy on the range. I am tired and sore, but it is all in the interest of carving out a place for me and my family. The I head back to the cabin and step back into reality.

I also thought of the many times, back in my cycling days, that I would get carried to the back roads of Europe. I would be twenty miles from home, or better, pumping and hammering out a 20 mph average, in a driving head wind. I would come to a large hill and lift out of the saddle to hammer up the beast. Then, I would be in France. The last stage of Le Tour de France and I was the lone cyclist of a great break-away. The peleton would be a quarter of a mile back and gaining rapidly. I would hear the voices of the announcers talking about my form and fatigue and the strength and courage to keep going, at all costs. The finish line would be a couple of miles away, I had to hold them off for a while longer. The pain would be evident on my face as I poured every last shred of energy and strength I had left toward the goal. The goal of winning the Tour! Then, I would crest the hill and sink back into my saddle and reality. The bonus to this scenario is that it paid off in training. I really did race competitively and this imaginary time would force me to get better and faster. I miss those days greatly.

There have been many times as I was out working the farm that my mind would romanticize the events of the day into something from the past. I guess I have read too many stories and seen too many movies. But, I always come in satisfied and tired. I always feel good, the kind of feeling that come from a long, hard workout. Tired but pleased.

I guess what I am saying is, that, perhaps, there is a bit of Tom Sawyer in all of us gents. A bit of the "romantical" that sweeps a regular guy into the arms of history. Maybe, it is healthy to think of things in a way that spurrs us to be better. That's what it does for me, anyway.